Where does all my money go?

It’s not just me.

It’s anyone who chooses not to count every penny. I certainly don’t want to become stingy but perhaps I should put a closer eye on what I spend money on… When your card gets rejected and you can’t even afford a 30c plastic bag for your groceries- it’s time.

Let’s start with the big things
Concert tickets, medication, petrol, doctors (it’s winter), waxes, haircuts, food, cosmetics, clothes and shoes

Solutions:

Tickets and entrance fees: Enter competitions? Become a groupie? BE THE BAND. Uh… Yeah that’ll help. Know the bouncer? Know someone who knows the bouncer? GOT IT! Know someone who’s slept with the bouncer.

Medication and doctors? Get a medical degree? Date a doctor? Don’t get sick… Yeah… I’ll try that. Or just die of your illness… Although funerals are quite pricey too.

Petrol… Walk? It’ll take away your gym expense….

Waxes and haircuts… DIY. My Greek friend does her own waxes and they have industrial hair! Bought Mandy’s wax…. And my hoo ha is still in one piece… So it works! Home highlight kit? I did that in high school. I’m not sure i wanna go back there.

Food… live off lentil soup! It worked for me in second year! It can work now!

Cosmetics? Finish the damn bottle first! I have 3 unsharpened eyeliners, 4 unfinished moisturizers… Finish it! And genuinely: buy a large cheap version of most things and only use the expensive ones on special occasions. Also… Don’t go near any cosmetics shop, you will come out with 30 things you don’t ACTUALLY need.

Clothes and shoes. There is no easy solution. Just be a millionaire. Or own forever new or something.

the little things

PETROL STATIONS (late night gum, late night diet coke, water bottle, inspired magazine, car air freshener… General shit you don’t need), drinks, eating out, random chocolates for friends

Errr…. Keep a bottle of water in your car… Try cut down on the gum and diet coke (or buy in advance) … Rob the petrol station? That bullet proof glass ain’t fooling anyone.

Drinks? Drink water.
Give up alcohol.

HAHA
NO
Be a slut and get men to buy them.

Eating out?
Be a prude and make men buy you dinner first

Random chocolates for friends? (Don’t ask, I do it lots) become a social recluse or tell your friends they’re fat.

I think that’s a mature way of dealing with this problem.
Perhaps I should start a budgeting firm.
Lemme know if you need financial help.
I got this.

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